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Make a Terrific Transition Board!

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Does your child have difficulty transitioning from one activity to the next? Does he scream, wail, and tantrum when it’s time to stop playing and go to bed? Does she protest loudly when it’s time to take a bath, then protest again when it’s time to get out of the tub? The problem for many children with disabilities is that they require order and predictability to feel safe. Most of the time, activities seem to be “sprung” on them without warning. “Jessica, put the toys away, it’s time to go shopping with Mommy,” etc. The child feels confused and overwhelmed … Continue reading →

Teaching Flexibility to a Child Who Resists Change

Children with autism spectrum disorders, behavioral disorders, and Sensory Integration Disorders often develop rigid thinking. They want certain things done at a certain times, in a certain order, and in a certain way. Otherwise, a tantrum ensues. That’s because these special kids often feel a loss of control over important aspects of their lives. What is normal and routine for the rest of us can be difficult and frustrating for them. Imagine having your body respond clumsily when you’re trying to do work or play. Or imagine being dragged from place to place by a parent and not having the … Continue reading →

Children Who Can’t Trust

When an infant has a need (such as the need for nourishment) which is not met, there is a big emotional response. That’s because the stakes are so great. If the child isn’t nourished, he will die. So he makes his needs known rather dramatically, crying and thrashing about. If this emotional response eventually brings him the sustenance he needs, he begins learning to trust. He discovers that when he is vulnerable, someone in his life will respond lovingly. As the child grows and develops, trust continues to build as the cycle repeats over and over again. For example, the … Continue reading →

WATCH IT! Help Your Child with Time Management

Do you constantly have to remind your child of the daily schedule? Do you make agreements, like “Fifteen more minutes of TV,” and then deal with a horrible tantrum when the time is up? Does your child need help staying on track with homework? Would you like to help your son or daughter develop a sense of independence and responsibility? Everybody Get In Sync! I recently heard about a private school that was instilling personal accountability and time management in their students. What they did was issue a particular style of wristwatch to each and every child from age four … Continue reading →

Things Getting a Bit Heated? Learn to Diffuse, NOT Inflame

Imagine you’re a fire fighter, rushing to the scene of a blaze that has just broken out at a residence. You run up onto the scene, and start screaming, “Another fire! I hate fires! Why are there always fires? This is so aggravating!” In the meantime, the kitchen cabinets in the house are now burning more intensely. “I always have to deal with these blazes, and it’s driving me crazy!” you shout. Then you pull from your bag a flask of gasoline, dousing the fire with it. As the flames rage higher, you say, “Quit burning! I mean it! I … Continue reading →

Trading Scrapbooks: Help Your Child Talk to You About School

Something mysterious was going on at Kyle’s school. Maybe. Or maybe not. Every time I asked him, “How was school today?” he would get a big grin on his face, blush, and cover his eyes. “I can’t see! I can’t see!” He’d say. This was his answer no matter what I asked about school. It was strange. I was curious, so I tried to probe further. “Kyle, who are your friends in class?” “I can’t see! I can’t see!” Although Kyle, who is fourteen, has autistic disorder, his language skills are strong enough to answer these questions. But he was … Continue reading →

Ten Ways to Help Your Child with Aspergers Syndrome Succeed in School

Children with high-functioning autism or Aspergers Syndrome have many similarities to their peers. They want to be liked, accepted, and fit in with their classmates. It was once assumed that these children preferred isolation, but this is not usually the case. Instead, many have described that it is their difficulty with social skills and pragmatic language, sensory differences, and restricted interests that make relating to others a challenge. Whenever possible, children with high-functioning autism or Aspergers Syndrome should be mainstreamed into a regular classroom with age-level peers. This is important for their social growth, intellectual stimulation, and the ability to … Continue reading →

Santa’s Developmental Toy List

The holidays are upon us, and you might be wondering about how to choose toys that are developmentally appropriate for your child. The stores are filled with all kinds of gizmos and gadgets and electronic stuff. Sometimes the simpler toys are better for kids who are facing challenges. Deciding which toys are the most beneficial and which ones can help your child master important skills can be difficult. The following list does not use name brands, but suggests certain kinds of toys that would be developmentally appropriate for children to reach significant milestones. If your child is delayed and functioning … Continue reading →

A Necessary Dose of Mommy or Daddy: Visitation and the Special Needs Child

It’s a very difficult thing to do: packing your child up for a weekend, two weeks, or even a whole summer to spend time with his other parent. This is especially true if your ex-spouse is not willing to work agreeably with you as a parenting partner. A child with special needs is particularly hard to send away for any extended period of time. He or she may have certain challenges you’ve been working on, and you’ve just started to make some progress when it’s time for his departure. How do you see that your ex-spouse continues with the parental … Continue reading →

Help Your Child Triumph Over Irrational Fears

Our family was visiting a botanical garden, and Kyle was very unhappy. As we walked through the trails between the trees and blossoming bushes, he covered his ears and squinted his eyes, sometimes humming to himself. “He’s afraid of bees,” his older brother informed me. I was somewhat surprised. I’d had an inkling he didn’t like bees, but now I was seeing the real depth of his fear. A couple times on our walk, for no apparent reason, Kyle would shriek and duck in horror, as if aliens were attacking. Sometimes I saw the culprit “bee” (several times it was … Continue reading →