Search Results for: blog leave me alone the child who seeks emotional isolation

Children Who Can’t Trust

When an infant has a need (such as the need for nourishment) which is not met, there is a big emotional response. That’s because the stakes are so great. If the child isn’t nourished, he will die. So he makes his needs known rather dramatically, crying and thrashing about. If this emotional response eventually brings him the sustenance he needs, he begins learning to trust. He discovers that when he is vulnerable, someone in his life will respond lovingly. As the child grows and develops, trust continues to build as the cycle repeats over and over again. For example, the … Continue reading →

“Leave Me ALONE!” The Child Who Seeks Emotional Isolation

Some children become so discouraged with their sense of self that they simply withdraw. Rather than compete with other kids, which they feel they can’t do because of their many inadequacies, they choose not to participate. And rather than disappoint the adults in their lives, they choose to build a wall of silence. These are the students who sit in the corner, fiddling with a pencil, refusing to raise their hand or join the group. They often feel frustrated by adult attempts to engage them in conversation or to force them to participate. As I have noted in previous blogs, … Continue reading →

When Your Child Wants REVENGE

In my early experiences of trying to discipline my stepdaughter with ADHD, things got really rough. I mentioned in a previous blog that on one occasion we found that a can of paint had been mysteriously opened and poured purposely across our bathroom cabinets. We also found holes dug in the walls after we had tried standing her in the corner on an occasion when her behavior was outrageous. She had sneakily taken her fingernails and dug deep pits into the walls. How she did it without being observed is a mystery. On another occasion, she scribbled all over the … Continue reading →

Five Ways to Deal With a Power-Hungry Child

If a child misbehaves because he craves attention, but can’t get a satisfying result, he will often move to the mistaken goal of seeking power. In my previous blog I listed the four basic mistaken goals children have which lead to misbehavior: Seeking Attention. Seeking Power. Seeking Revenge. Seeking Emotional Isolation. The Child Who Craves Power Each of the above mistaken goals are the child’s misguided way of trying to belong. All children want to belong, to be accepted, to fit in, and to be loved. The child who wants power makes the erroneous assumption that if he defies adults … Continue reading →