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When a Child Argues with Peers

Many of us have this idyllic vision of childhood friends—we picture our child wandering off into the field hand-in-hand with a best friend—happy, giggling, and best friends forever. The reality, however, is that children argue and fight too. Inviting a friend over for a play date can turn into a bicker-fest. As the parent in charge, is there anything we can do to cut back on the arguing or help our child learn how to communicate in other ways? First of all, arguing is not all bad. Sometimes, our child is working out all sorts of things in those arguments … Continue reading →

Negative Reaction Addiction – Could Your Child Have It?

Regardless of your child’s diagnostic “label” (or lack thereof), if your son or daughter is persistently defiant and difficult, he or she might just have an addiction. In this case I’m not talking about a drug addiction, but an addiction to the negative reactions of others. In their book, Transforming the Difficult Child, Howard Glasser, MA, and Jennifer Easley, MA describe difficult children as being “literally addicted to negative reactions.” It sounds a little peculiar, but it makes sense. Some children continue to defy authority, rebel, throw tantrums, and do inappropriate things over and over again. (I’m referring to children … Continue reading →

My Child Misbehaves at School but Not at Home

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It seems that most children, even from birth, have two personalities. They tend to change between the two depending on their company. Children tend to move back and forth between “I’m with mommy” mode and “mommy is not here” mode. Babysitters and family members have always told me that my children are less dependent and whiny when I am not around. Children tend to be more comfortable and relaxed around their main caregivers. Therefore, their attitude may be more outgoing, strong willed, or needy when they are with very familiar company. One comment that I hear very often from kindergarten … Continue reading →

Howard Glasser and Difficult Children

Last week, I attended an after school in-service. Unlike some that I have attended, I left this in-service with useful information. The in-service pertained to working with difficult children. The presenters focused on the video and books by Howard Glasser. Glasser believes that we, as teachers and parents, focus too much energy on correcting undesired behaviors. He feels that more energy should be put into recognizing appropriate behaviors. I agree that most of us use a much stronger and more energized voice when correcting a child rather than praising a child. Some children, Glasser noted, feed off of the energy. … Continue reading →

Disciplining Your Special Needs Child

How do you deal with that temper tantrum your child displays in Wal Mart? Do you want to crawl under the table while your little angel is being obnoxious when the family is dining out? What do you do when he is misbehaving and is oblivious to your threats of punishment? There are tactics you can employ when your child is consistently disobedient. First and foremost, use discipline sensibly. Whatever method of punishment you choose, remember to enforce it firmly and dependably. Consistency is the cornerstone of discipline. Displaying overprotective tendencies by letting bad behavior go unpunished, never helps your … Continue reading →

ADHD: Should it Be Called INHIBITION Deficit?

Dr. Russell Barkley and some other experts have determined, based on their research and observations, that ADHD is primarily a deficiency of inhibition, rather than attention span. This characterization makes sense to me. I’ve seen that my own children who have the condition are able to focus very well on their video games, movies, and anything that is entertaining or interesting to them. They certainly aren’t incapable of maintaining focus when they want to. However, when they are required to pay attention to something less stimulating, like spelling or fractions, they have trouble filtering out the other things that intrigue … Continue reading →

“You’re not my BOSS!” Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Our family was on vacation, and my nine-year-old stepdaughter was up to her usual antics. It started with teasing her brother. As he screamed, I called her out of the room and made her sit at the kitchen table next to me. She began to get very mouthy and rude. I then had her sit on a chair, away from the activity of the family, for twenty minutes. That’s when she began a tirade of dramatic remarks, namely that I hated her, the whole family hated her, and that she was “always punished for no reason.” She screamed, stomped her … Continue reading →