Is Your Kid Having a Meltdown Day? Try "DROPPING" It

by Kristyn Crow | More from this Blogger

We've all had one of those days--especially with a behaviorally-disordered child--where everything just goes wrong. You know the kind: your kid is constantly frustrated. He's having multiple tantrums and refusals. Everthing makes him come unglued. He won't listen and won't settle down. Maybe he causes a scene in a public place or gets in trouble at school. And you'd just like to dive into a black hole and disappear.

Carol Stock Kranowitz, M.A., in her fabulous book The Out-of-Sync Child has Fun, suggests that we just "drop it." What does she mean? Here are the seven drops:

1. Drop Your Voice.

Rather than yell and explode, bring your voice down to a calm, soothing level. Speak softly to your child. You're more likely to be effective when you aren't adding to the chaos.

2. Drop Your Body.

Studies have shown that a child is more likely to relax and relate when you get down to her level. Squat down so that you're eye-to-eye, while you speak in soothing tones. Try to express understanding, so that your child feels "heard." Stanley I. Greenspan, M.D. is also an advocate of getting down on the floor with your son or daughter and playing on that level.

3. Drop Your T.V. Remote.

Although you might enjoy a few spare moments to yourself, today your child needs you. He or she can sense when you are distracted and focusing on something else. Take the opportunity to relate to your child in a way that is meaningful.

4. Drop Your Guard.

Every once in a while you should resist that urge to stop your child from doing something she wants to do. Of course you want to make sure your son or daughter is safe, but ask yourself whether the thing she's trying to do is really so dangerous, or if you're really just trying to avoid a mess or hassle. If she's rearranging the decorative garden stones, that might be frustrating, but perhaps it's an opportunity for her to experiment with shape, texture, and patterns.

5. Drop Your Defenses.

When others suggest "you're not tough enough," or shake their heads at your misbehaving child, don't get defensive. Try to educate. One mother whose child had sensory processing dysfunction explained, "I encourage people to think of a child who needs glasses. If he doesn't wear his glasses, he squints, squirms, tries to get closer to what he needs to see, or quits trying. All of these things are behaviors caused by the physical condition of needing glasses. People don't yell at him, 'Quit squinting!" They tell him to put his glasses on." She then explains to those who would criticize her parenting skills that her child's blanket, with its soothing texture, is like glasses to the child with vision problems. With a little bit of explanation, most people will "get it."

6. Drop Your Batteries.

There are all kinds of electronic gadgets out there made for kids. Handheld video games and other battery operated toys are everywhere. Rather than use these kinds of toys as distracters, let your child's imagination rule. Provide activities that involve artistic creativity and experimentation. Hands-on projects like playdough, finger-painting, and food mixing can provide your child with the sensory stimulation he really craves.

7. Drop the Idea that Fun is Frivolous.

When your child plays, she is learning. Don't be too restrictive and limiting with your child. If she wants to clang pots and pans, get down and participate with her. Perhaps you can help her find some rhythms and tones. Try faster and slower, louder and softer. Be a little more tolerant of her activities, trying to find ways to promote knowledge while strengthening your relationship.

Kristyn Crow is the author of this blog. Visit her website by clicking here. Some links on this blog may have been generated by outside sources are not necessarily endorsed by Kristyn Crow.

Learn more about Kristyn Crow

Kristyn Crow is the mother of seven children, and the author of three children's books. Visit her website at www.kristyncrow.com.

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